Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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