I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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