I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
