He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
