so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
