I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
