Heybabeimwearingurpanties
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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