He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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