just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
