if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
