I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
My bed smells like the plague
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
