my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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