you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
