im drinking this country out of the recession.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
