Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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