I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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