dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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