I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
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