I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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