Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
