i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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