I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
