Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
