remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
