just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize