fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
