the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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