How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
