i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
