How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
