my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
