I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
