I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
