Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
