I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
