Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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