yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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