the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
be right there i have to get my cape
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
