he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
