My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
