I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
