Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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