This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
