You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Randomize
