i don't like sucking hair
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
