Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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