Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
