Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
