there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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