just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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