plz talk dirty to me
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
