If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
