mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
