i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
