The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
