On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
