Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
